The Art of Being Present

As a Millennial I had the rare pleasure in my lifetime to witness firsthand how the world we live in went from analogue to digital:

a transformation that couldn't have been more groundbreaking, shaping both us as individuals and society as a whole.

I remember a time when.. there really was no way to escape the present moment as much as it's possible today. We played outside, had birthday parties, wrote real letters to people we cared about and actually "had a real life".. - the future looked golden and full of possibilities, especially looking at the advancement of technology.

And then something shifted over the last 20 years.. and technology became more and more part of our lives to the point where we are now dependent on it and it seems to fulfill our needs dangerously well.

But even though there are now the most opportunities, it strangely feels like the world we live in today is the most dire. It became less common to socialize, our attention span shortened, we became more stressed and life didn't exactly get any easier.

Is it mainstream media that always paints a darker picture to "keep us hooked & entertained"?

Is it social media that makes people more narcissistic, spending a majority of their time creating a curated image far from actual reality that then makes other people feel bad about their own lives..?

Is it dating apps that make it easier than ever to get a date - and quickly move on to the next one..? - Which makes social interactions and relationships more disposable - especially when it's much easier and safer to just binge-watch a Netflix show..?

Those are some ugly truths we are living with in today's world.

So being aware of all of that, I always try to make an effort to not take out my phone in public during idle time, to actually be present, observe and be ok with not flooding my senses with external stimuli for a while. Especially when I'm around other people.

Hilariously I recently even got complimented on it by an old lady on the tram. "You're doing it right." she said while exiting "..you're not holding anything in your hands."

At first it took me a hot second to realize what she meant, and looking around - literally 90% of the other passengers were looking at their phones. To be honest, even though I was happy to be complimented, I was also slightly embarrassed cause she had obviously dissed everybody else..

In Japan, where public harmony is the no.1 priority - this would simply not be possible.

But after living in Germany again for over 5 years, I had already come to terms with the directness and didn't get as shocked as I might have been right after moving here.

It made me wonder how much our world has changed in such a subtle yet profound way. Being physically present somewhere no longer means that someone is truly there.

We can sit in the same room, on the same train, at the same dinner table - and yet be mentally somewhere entirely different.

Attention has become one of the rarest and most valuable things we can offer each other. And yet it is also the thing we give away most easily to glowing rectangles in our hands.

Perhaps that is why I have developed a deep appreciation for being fully present with another person.

Not just physically - but mentally and emotionally as well.

To sit together, share a conversation that isn't constantly interrupted by notifications, and simply experience a moment as it unfolds.

Technology itself is not the enemy, of course.

It has given us incredible possibilities, knowledge at our fingertips, and connections across the world.

But perhaps the real art today is knowing when to put it down.

To notice the world around us again.

To listen without distraction.

To give another person the rare gift of our full attention.

In a world that constantly pulls us away from the present moment, choosing to be truly present might be one of the most meaningful things we can do.

Until we meet

Vanessa 🌸